Monday, 10 August 2009

In the words of Bob Geldof........

Daisy Turnip writes.....

We're a perfectly formed, but very small IT team and this week IT Jnr, AKA IT Geek, is on annual leave. We miss IT Jnr very much when he's away (and it's nothing to do with the fact that he deals with the overwhelming majority of the 1st tier IT support calls).

First thing this morning (and it had been a heavy weekend), I was sitting at my desk, pumping myself up for a meeting with the new web developers along with a couple of internal meetings, when IT Snr, AKA IT Guru, came purposefully walking round the corner, he had a rabbit 'caught in the headlights' kind of stare going on on his face, he then purposefully pointed back at the server room and said firmly, 'do you have a minute?' - no, it wasn't a question, it was most definitely a, 'get your backside round here NOW!'

Because he's on leave this week and wanted to finish off some bits and bobs before leaving for the week, IT Jnr was the last to leave the office on Friday. The look on IT Snr's face made me think that IT Jnr was stuck in the server room and had been there for the entire weekend - probably dead, due to the Icelandic conditions of our amazing air con system!

I didn't even get to the server room - the heat simply hit me when I was about 500 yards away! Wow, tropical.

Yes, you've guessed it, there was a problem with the air con unit - it too had had a heavy weekend and was confused with its purpose in life. Instead of blowing out cold, crispy clear air, it had decided to have a wobbly and was now chucking out 80 degree tropical waves. Trust me we simply couldn't breathe in there.

Servers squealing and warning lights flashing - it really wasn't a pretty sight first thing on a Monday morning.

All is well now, the AC engineers have been and carried out their magic, otherwise known as vacuumed out the external vent (I'm sure this is part of the annual service programme (mental note to go and check this). But dear oh dear what do you think the rest of the week is going to be like!?


I don't like Mondays either Bob.

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

Make Yourself at Home 'Son'

Daisy Turnip writes.....

The teenage son of one of my closest friends is staying with us this week as he’s on work experience at hubby’s place of work.

On Sunday, as they were about to leave home to bring him down to our house, said friend phoned, asking if we had a spare portable TV teenage son could use so that he could bring his playstation with him. There’s currently a spare TV sitting in the garage, waiting to go back to uni with daughter in September. I said, ‘Sure, bring it down’.

Teenage lodger turned up and promptly asked for the TV, which we gave to him, but we couldn’t find the remote control. I told him to set up the playstation in our bedroom and he could use it in the evenings when he came home from work.

I went upstairs later that evening to find the monstrosity of the old portable TV (without the remote control) in our bedroom and sitting, ON A CHAIR, in the spare room, with new teenage lodger, was our fancy flash flat screen TV, now being used to play some car chasing playstation game. ‘Oh, you all settled in then? Good’ I said!


No Question Time in bed for me tomorrow night!



Sunday, 21 June 2009

Is it cooked yet?

Daisy Turnip writes.....

Oh dear! My work laptop died a week ago - it's still in ICT A&E and I now have a laptop on loan.

I was doing a spot of work this afternoon and knocked an entire mug of tea over the keyboard!

Hubby had a great idea - put the laptop in the oven on the defrost setting (which just circulates air around the oven).

The laptop has now been in the oven for the last couple of hours!

I now have fingers and all other bits and bobs crossed!



Thursday, 4 June 2009

Coming Home and Being in the Pink


Daisy Turnip writes.....

Daughter has now finished uni for the summer and has started to gradually bring her things back from Halls – ‘I can do it,’ very quickly came the response, when I asked if she needed any help. Mother suspects that Daughter is a little concerned that Mother might have a heart attack when she sees how Daughter has been living over the last 10 months.

Yesterday, daughter and favourite nephew drove to uni and filled up the car with her belongings. Last night they brought in boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes of stuff and dropped them on the kitchen floor – they looked so chuffed with themselves, as their ordeal, for the day, was over. And I sighed with a heavy heart, as we have a second house viewing at the weekend and have no idea where we are going to put all of this stuff ie mountains of pasta, heaps of tinned sweet corn, opened packages of food, unopened items of food, more tinned sweet corn, mouldy items of food, clothes (dirty), more pasta, 2 lots of bedding (dirty), towels (dirty), kettle, iron, more tinned sweet corn,cleaning products (bought by mother at the beginning of the year) (unopened), cooking equipment (dirty), more tinned sweet corn, cooking utensils (dirty), books, 3 boxes of shoes, more clothes (dirty), books, photos, folders, art work, CDs, DVDs, several A1 portfolios (ie HUGE slim briefcase type thingies). Open the garage door and loft hatch hubby!

Daughter LOVES pink – she has bright pink bedding, bright pink towels, bright pink fluffy mats, bright pink shower curtain – I think you kind of get the message. Yes, she’s Barbie reincarnate!

This morning, I started Mission Wash Up – ie washing a whole academic year’s worth of clothes and bedding etc. So far, it’s only 7am and I’ve already done 2 ‘pink loads’ and am now sitting at the kitchen table, tapping away on my laptop, surrounded by a very bright pink fluorescent haze coming through the kitchen window, emanating from all the VERY bright pink washing, which is now drying on the line!

It must be bad – daughter had just walked in to the kitchen, stopped dead in her tracks and said, ‘Wow, Pink!’

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Short Hand? Surely Not?

Daisy Turnip writes.....

Whilst sitting next to a colleague in a meeting, he looked at my note pad and then leant over and whispered, ‘I didn’t know you did short hand,’ ‘It’s not’ I replied, ‘that’s my writing!’

I knew I could have been a doctor!

Sunday, 8 March 2009

Ahhhh, Best Drink of the Day!

Daisy Turnip writes.....

I went to fetch some clothes out of the washing machine. I opened the door and there, having gone through an economy wash, sat a broken tea bag – with very little tea in it!

Friday, 6 March 2009

Your Pants are Ringing

Daisy Turnip writes.....

A new smart phone arrived at work yesterday. On the back of the phone there was a label which read,

Important
To prevent damage, do not apply excessive pressure to the screen or device case. Please remove the device from your pants before sitting down. For more details, see the Quick Start Guide.

Hmmm, strange, why would you want to put your phone in your pants?

Wednesday, 4 March 2009

Worse Than Child Birth!

Daisy Turnip writes.....

Today daughter’s car went for its first MOT! Daughter had never previously experienced:-

1. The process of sending a car in for an MOT
2. Waiting to get the car back whilst it is in for and MOT and
3. The tiniest fear / thought that it might fail the MOT and that she might be using public transport on a regular basis!

She also needed / wanted to get the car back this afternoon in order to get back to uni tonight, because she has an exam tomorrow morning.

I had meetings both this morning and this afternoon.

I came out of this morning’s meeting to find 5 missed calls, 1 voice mail message and 2 text messages – all from daughter!

OMG I thought, the car has failed the MOT with catastrophic proportions! I rang daughter and she told me, it had failed on the emissions test and needed a new exhaust. I told her to ring the garage and approve the work and I’d leave work early, pick her up and drive to the garage to collect the car and do the dutiful bank of mom and dad duties ie pay the chuffing bill!

At 2pm I went into another meeting. I came out at 3.30 to find 3 missed calls, 1 voice mail message and 2 more text messages – again, all from daughter!

I rang daughter to see what the problem was. She informed me, she’d rang the garage every half an hour to see if the car was ready. It wasn’t! They had been waiting for delivery of the exhaust and therefore still needed to complete the exhaust fit and then take it for a drive to check on a problem she’d asked them to check re the tyre tracking!

The poor garage – daughter on the phone every half hour! I really did want to give them a call myself, just to sympathise with them and also say, ‘welcome to my world’ – see how they like it! But I didn’t! Because I'm not smug! : )

I fled from work at 4.15pm (this in itself is a bit of a miracle) and did my usual 1 ½ half journey in 45 minutes! Picked up daughter, who then began to interrogate me about: how good is an MOT; is it really safe the drive the car all the way back to uni; do they really know what they are doing; why don’t they think there is a problem with the tracking; is an exhaust system really that expensive; why would an exhaust system break; is it normal for an exhaust to ‘die’; are they ‘ripping’ us off; am I worried about the cost; do you think it will fail next year’s MOT; will it impact on the insurance cost....... blah de blah de blah................... I really should have put my iPod on, it would have been so much more less painful.

We collected the car, I paid the bill, daughter put her bag in the boot (correction, I put her bag in the boot) and she went off to uni. I jumped back in the car and slammed my foot on the accelerator and got the hell out of there ASAP. Questions, questions, questions, it’s just all too much!

Next year I’m going to tell her to just sort it herself and send me the bill!

Friday, 13 February 2009

Carly - Just read your emails!

Daisy Turnip writes.....

You never know - sometimes, they ARE worth a read! : ) x

I Can't Speak

Daisy Turnip writes.....

Today, something happened that frequently happens, and I just can’t understand why.

I got to my desk and there was a missed call on my mobile. It was from big sis. I rang her back and she eventually answered and said, ‘I’m in the car, I can’t speak.’

Why do people do this??? Just don’t take the call!!!

Saturday, 7 February 2009

The Joy of Cooking – Student Style!

Daisy Turnip writes.....

Daughter went off to uni in September and is now living in halls of residence. Before she left I typed up a whole load of recipes for cheap and easy meals to cook. She’s not used it once! It took me ages to do!!

However, she seems to be managing very well on the cooking front. She can now make a cup of tea and coffee oh, and microwave frozen corn on the cob – it’s all she seems to eat!

She did try her hand at making pasta in a white sauce. The sauce was one of those ready made things in a sachet (shame on her). She poured the pasta into the saucepan – dry and uncooked – and then added the pasta sauce. She couldn’t understand why it wasn’t cooked properly and had to go in the bin!

Gordon, be afraid, be very afraid!

Wednesday, 4 February 2009

Burkha, Parker – Health and Safety Guru Required?

Daisy Turnip writes.....

This morning, whilst joyously sitting stationary in the early morning Birmingham commuter traffic, 3 cars drove past me which were all being driven by women wearing burkhas. It’s a pretty weird sight to be honest – you’re sitting there, half asleep behind the wheel of the car, praying that something exciting would happen, just to ease the monotonous boredom of the horrendous 2 hour traffic jam, only to see a car coming at you, with what looks like, which can only be described, as a big black cloud in the driver’s seat. All that can be seen, when the car gets closer, is a gap for the eyes. Is this really a safe way to drive? What happens when said female arrives at a T-Junction?

It automatically transported me back to being a young teenager. Dad would never allow me to ride my push bike, whilst having the hood up on my beloved parker coat! Remember? You’d turn your head round and the parker hood would stay in place, and all you could see was the liner of your hood! To be fair, parkers were pretty dangerous don’t you think! : )

My Dad was the über health and safety officer of our village. Dad saw EVERY single health and safety design fault of living the life of a child / teenager – I had to then obey his rules, which thankfully allowed me to see my way into my adult life! Many thanks Dad – you know I would never have made it without your H&S rules! : )


As we say in sunny Wolverhampton, 'Oi luvs ya' x

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Snowed in at the Lakes

Daisy Turnip writes.....

Every now and again we hire holiday cottages in the Lake District – just not as often as we’d like to. Such cottages usually have a log fire, are located in remote areas and, without exception, I always say, ‘ooooh, I’d love to be snowed in here’

It was my birthday this weekend and hubby treated me to a long weekend in the Lakes, staying in the fantastic Rose Cottage in the most beautiful Duddon Valley.


Sunday we were out on the mountains, it was a glorious day, beautiful clear skies and it was absolutely freezing. But as hubby frequently tells me, ‘there’s no such thing as bad weather, it’s just down to bad clothing!’ Being married to hubby, I’m never wearing bad clothing whilst out walking! He inspects me and my rucksack before we leave for a day out on the mountains! He’s not anal – well, maybe not, or is it because I’m now reaching his level of weather paranoia!

Late in the afternoon, we got back to the cottage, feeling cheerfully tired and fulfilled from a good old hike around the Duddon Valley. I rang Daughter from the pay phone, only to find her most anxious about the snow that was forecast, asking whether or not we were planning to walk the following day and what we would do about travelling back home.

Great, we’re going to get snowed in – my long term dream was about to be fulfilled! I was soooo chuffed.

And then, common sense head kicked in. We only had a little food and worse than that, even less wine!

We turned on the TV to catch the weather report. Loads of snow was predicted!

Half an hour we were leaving a snowy Duddon Valley – long weekend not quite complete – heading towards to M6, on our way home. I am such a chicken!

Santa Only Brings Presents to the Good Children

Daisy Turnip writes.....

Bunny informed me that Father Christmas has brought her presents every year – never missed one. She told me that’s because she is always good and for those children who are naughty, they don’t get presents from Santa.

She looked suspiciously at hubby (you could just see the cogs going round in her mind) and then asked, ‘When Dave was little, did Santa ALWAYS bring presents to him?’

Ohh, little people have such a well honed sixth sense! : )

The Filthy Devils

Daisy Turnip writes.....

A very close friend of mine is, shall we say, incredibly house proud.

Her dog stops at the back door and automatically lifts up each paw, ready to have them wiped before he’s allowed to proceed into the kitchen! It’s really quite impressive to watch!

Last summer her son went on a sleep over, staying with a family my friend didn’t know too well. They dropped off said son and then went out for dinner. Not long after they’d arrived at the restaurant, said son sent a text, asking for his Mom to give him a call. She did so, and he wouldn’t say much, just monosyllabic responses to Mom’s questions, but confirming he was fine. She finally asked if he wanted to come home, which he promptly replied with a firm ‘Yes’. They had already ordered their meal so he was informed they would be there, to pick him up ASAP.

Every 10 minutes or so, Mom kept receiving a text, asking how much longer they were going to be. In the end Mom became very worried re her Son’s most unusual behaviour and they left the restaurant, meal half eaten.

They arrived at the house of the sleep over and a panic stricken lad came rushing out and jumped into the car. By this point friend / Mom was very worried and beginning to panic, ‘What’s gone on, what’s the matter, are you ok?’ she asked in desperation and fear.

He was silent for a while. Dad asked the same question.

Son took a deep breath and said, ‘I just couldn’t stay there Mom, there was dust on the skirting board in the bathroom’.

I’m just amazed that they all come and stay at my house! : )

A Yellow Card for Throwing Snowballs!

Daisy Turnip writes.................

We were cooking dinner last night when there was a knock at the door. Due to a minor car accident with the snow and ice, we ended up looking after our ex neighbour’s child for about 20 minutes last night.

She’s about 5 years old (sorry Ian and Helen, we know we’re useless and can’t remember how old she is) – talking to kids that age, especially Bunny (ex neighbour’s pet name for his daughter), is just brilliant. Everything is so black and white.

Bunny’s dad left, to sort out the car insurance details, and we asked her what she wanted to drink. Sugar free orange, sugar free apple and blackcurrant, or, are you allowed Coca Cola? A big grin appeared on her face as she said she’d like Coke. I so knew what that grin meant. I asked her if she was allowed to have Coke, and if she did have some, when Daddy came to collect her, would he be happy that she’d drank Coke? She thought for a moment and then said, ‘I don’t know.’ ‘OK, pop it is then, what would you like, orange or apple and blackcurrant?’ ‘Mixed’ came her reply. A mixed glass of orange, apple and blackcurrant was placed in front of her – yeuk, but Bunny liked it, along with a packet of Walkers cheese and onion crisps – I never asked whether or not Dad would be happy with that – she kept saying she was hungry, we’d been away for the weekend and to state that the cupboards were bare was a major understatement!

Bunny then kept telling us how she’d never received a ‘yellow card’ at school. What on earth is a yellow card? She proceeded to tell us that a yellow card is when you’ve not been very good at school – but not too bad either. If you receive 2 yellow cards, you get a red one.

Apparently a girl at school today had received a yellow card for throwing a snowball on the playground!

Unbelievable – I was so shocked I opened a bottle of wine! The world has gone mad.

I never found out what happens if you receive both a yellow and a red card! Even if you’re not into footie, it obviously works because it’s Bunny’s major achievement not to have received a single yellow card since she’s been a school.

Friday, 23 January 2009

Heads Up!

Daisy Turnip writes.....

Yesterday, I was away on a jolly, er, sorry, I mean an intensive 2 day away event, with work.

In the evening, we were treated to a wine tasting session and lesson, at a wine shop close to where we were staying.

I don’t think the team quite got it – when we left, all the spittoons were empty, so too were the numerous bottles of wine, but funnily enough, all the team was in very fine spirit!

It was a pity we didn’t just sample organic wines, as there were several poorly heads this morning!

A Star Student

Daisy Turnip writes.....

Daughter wants the world to know that she got an A in her uni report!

This isn't quite the world, but at least it's a start!

Well done babes, you've obviously got your Mother's genes on that score! : )

Wednesday, 21 January 2009

He’s a Winker

Daisy Turnip writes.....

Sneezing is a bit of a family thing. My sister is King Sneezer – she can, and frequently does about 8 sneezes on the trot. Daughter is a close 2nd and can easily do a run of 6. My average is 5 sneezes – hubby even knows if a delayed sneeze is about to follow. However, the funniest thing is that our mutt, Bailey, is a big sneezer too – usually when he gets excited.

I always carry a pack of anti-histamines!

I’m now getting a little concerned re how I can put this into words, in order to truly capture the following incident.

A couple of days ago, said mutt, myself and hubby were all in the kitchen (I think we’d just finished tidying up after dinner) and then the dog started to sneeze – obviously thinking that he was about to be both fed and walked.

He sneezed

And sneezed

And sneezed

So much so, that we turned round to look at him.

(here’s the bit I’m worried about)

And there he was, head on its side, with his eye squinting – in a big way – knowing that another sneeze was shortly to follow.

It was so pronounced, and soooo delayed (for what must have been about 15 seconds), in fact I began to panic slightly, thinking that he was going to have some fit.

And then he sneezed again – big time. Shook himself, wagged his tail and looked at us both, as if to say, ‘got a problem?’

If you can’t picture the image, trust me, it was v funny!

Should I start crushing an anti-histamine into his food?

Public transport and shared desks

Daisy Turnip writes.....

I work for an organisation that seriously tries to promote and encourage the use of public transport to all of the staff. Although we understand and really want to embrace this attitude, some of us are just totally glued to our car seats and would prefer the comfort, warmth and control of our own destiny when it comes to travelling – not to mention the sheer pleasure of not having some nutter sitting next to you whilst you are on a journey.

I share a desk with Pete. Given the fact that he's male, he's not that untidy to be honest, but ultimately, he's a man - I therefore share a desk with a tidy (male definition of the word tidy) 'ish man.

I hate commuting into Birmingham each day.

I got into the office at 7.20 this morning – feeling really grumpy, as I hadn’t filled my travel mug with tea before leaving the house, and therefore hadn’t had sufficient amounts of caffeine, in order for me to face a day in the office. Even leaving home that early in the morning, it still takes me an hour to get into work - it's just far too early not to have copious amounts of caffeine in your system at that hour of the day!

However, as I sat down at the shared desk (feeling pretty damn grumpy and tired) a chuckle did occur. Stapled to the desk divider was a return train ticket, from Birmingham to Stourbridge, and written on it were the words, ‘I travelled by train and survived it!’

I chuckled pretty loud to be honest!

I then chuckled even louder, knowing that Pete and Dominic had left the office late yesterday afternoon, in order to undertake something like a 12 hour journey which consisted of a variety of car, trains, planes and taxis to get them to some European destination for a full day meeting today (which they both desperately didn’t want to go to) and then do the same journey back tonight – they are both in the office tomorrow!

Serves him right – he should leave the shared desk tidy each night before he goes home! : )

Tuesday, 13 January 2009

Passwords Bloody Passwords

Daisy Turnip writes.....

I work in IT and network security. My main role is as an ICT Manager. Until March of this year I’m contracted out 2 days per week, working on a project for a different organisation. I therefore have a variety of passwords that I need to remember for numerous laptops and email systems – I’m really not very good at it!

Tonight, for my main job, I had to reset my email password. I changed it and then took the dog for a walk. I came back home and tried to log on to email and, for the 5 month in a row, I’ve forgotten my new password! I am the ICT Manager for this organisation!

For my other role, last week I locked myself out of my laptop and in the same week, also managed to bugger up the password on my Blackberry!

I’m now officially incommunicado!

Tomorrow, I need to do some grovelling, apologising, log a few support calls and then work out a new password regime - which I WILL remember.

Oh dear! This is becoming very embarrassing!

Monday, 5 January 2009

Teenage Kids and Cars

Daisy Turnip says......... Daughter turned 18 last February and finally got her full driving license in March 2008.

Grandad had a couple of grand banked for the occasion. Daddy Dave also had a couple of grand banked to top up for unsuspecting costs for a car that posh daughter was prepared to drive.

Daughter now drives a very posh car for a fashion degree student!

Mommy pays an unbelievably expensive car insurance premium for her daughter to drive her ‘chav’ car.

Mommy and Daddy Dave threatened daughter that if she had the need to claim on her insurance policy, she would have to pay the difference in the insurance cost between year 1 and year 2!

Back in October daughter ‘dinged’ a 4 day old GT Bentley Continental ie £120k – because the stupid wife of the owner was late to pick up her son, and was driving like a total idiot at speeds far too great for the actual road – but we’re not bitter, and we’re trying to move on. HOWEVER, insurance premium moves on up. In fact, only this weekend, we received the renewal quote – it’s doubled to £1,200! Kids and cars – license to print money for insurance companies.

The pain hurt for the duration of the weekend. But we dealt with it and HAD moved on!

I left home for work this morning at 7am, leaving behind a lovely picturesque village, with snow and ice lined roads. And then, an hour later, some swine ploughed into daughter’s car! Moved it from the road on to the pavement in the process! And then s/he drove off, without a note or a knock at the door. How lovely! NOT.

Daughter is now distraught. I am gutted! And I am also brassic – parent of a chav driving car, who promised her child expense free driving whilst she was a student!


Surprise – the ‘swine’ turned up tonight and ‘fessed up – now waiting for insurance details – promised for tomorrow, before 9am. Will let you know how it goes.

New Year’s Resolution

Daisy Turnip writes.....

A very small handful of friends and family have asked that my new year’s resolution be that I restart ‘the blog’ – ok DT is going to try and be good and do the blog thing again. No promises – but I’ll try

Holidays and Illness

Daisy Turnip writes.....

I love holidays – every time I take one, I get sick!

I broke up from work on Monday 22 December and have spent the entire holiday with this awful bug. Back at work today, and I’ve still got it! Don’t you just love holidays!!!