Friday 20 July 2007

Talk Like A Brummie Day

Daisy Turnip writes.....

Did you know it’s talk like a brummie day today? A day where everyone across the world should talk with the fantastic brummie accent – arr, uurright!

Please note, I’m a black country girl, so there is a big difference in the accent, but it’s close enough geographically, so here’s to ‘Talk Like a Brummie Day’

For further information, go to
http://talklikeabrummieday.co.uk/


Monday 16 July 2007

Composted Tea Bags

Daisy Turnip writes.....

Our compost bin finally arrived just over a month ago and we are now religiously composting our food and garden waste (well, when I say ‘we’ – it’s the adult ‘we’ – teenager Daughter is a little on the forgetful side!) – I’m now even beginning to understand the requirements of a good mix of both green and brown waste!! Trust me, it’s a whole new language! However, I’m a little worried about the amount of tea bags that’s going in there – can there be too many tea bags in a compost bin?? We go through hundreds of the damn things – I’m sure we’ll end up with tea flavoured compost!

For all you old timers out there, as we trek across the garden, carrying our rubbish to the compost bin, we can be regularly heard shouting, ‘Compost corner’ and for all you youngsters, we occasionally chant, ‘We are recycling, we are recycling’ – the MacDonalds advert!?!

Our fortnightly recycling collection picks up the newspapers, glasses and tins but we have to take cardboard and plastics (‘bottles only’ said the recycling adviser, who firmly to me when I asked him to explain what PET etc etc was) to the local recycling centre – Hubby will only allow me - he’s put his foot down with a big hefty cotton woolly slipper! - to make the trip if we happen to be driving anywhere near the centre. His argument is that a special drive out to the recycling place negates what we are actually recycling in materials. This is true, but I’m a little suspicious of the fact that it’s more to do with the fact that he hates queuing for the pleasure of such boring activity!?

So,more or less, we are recycling all of our home waste now.

I know I’m going to sound a little bit like an anorak here, but it’s becoming a bit of a weekly challenge to see how little rubbish we can actually chuck out. I’ve just emptied the bin – the bag has been in the bin since last Thursday. I’m seriously chuffed, however I have noticed an increase in the number of flies in our house!!

The Morning Zombie

Daisy Turnip writes.....

Favourite Nephew came to stay with favourite Aunt this weekend.

As my husband has work down in Nephew’s neck of the woods, he decided to take him home this morning, on the agreement that it would be an early start.

5.45am I gave said Nephew his early morning wake up call! A grunt came from beneath the duvet. I went downstairs and made us all a drink and then went back upstairs to see if he was ok. He was still underneath the duvet sleeping like a baby!! Why does that not surprise me: - ) I gave him another call (and a quick slap around the head, just to make sure) - another grunt came back at me.

Fifteen minutes later, a specimen of a teenager appeared in the kitchen, grunted, sat down at the table, drank his hot chocolate, grunted again as he gave me a hug as he left with Hubby on their trip back ‘darn sarf’

I love my favourite Nephew. I think next time he’ll probably opt to catch the late train back home!

Wednesday 11 July 2007

Now You See Them, Now You Don’t

Daisy Turnip writes.....

We have a very large cherry tree in our back garden. Every summer we see the cherries appear, turn slightly pink, the tree then begins to shake violently and then suddenly all the cherries have gone! Vanished! Zilch!

The tree shakes due to the large numbers of birds merrily sitting in the branches, stuffing their beaks with OUR cherries. Seriously, we’ve never had one single ripe cherry from that tree.

This year, due to all the rain that we’ve been having there have been fewer birds in the garden. Last week, the cherries were nearly red and we foolishly thought that we’d be eating ripe cherries very soon, for the first time ever.

And then, the rain stopped. The cherries are just a few days off from being ripe and ready to eat and the tree has started to shake again. The bottom branches now have no cherries, and for yet another year, it looks like there’ll be no cherries for us!

Do you think it would be worth putting out a sign for the birds, ‘Nuts and feeders are over the other side of the garden!’

Welcome to the World of Work

Daisy Turnip writes.....

Daughter has broken up from college for the summer. During the summer break she will be working most days but requires a lift to get there as there is no public transport available. She therefore needs a lift from Mother! If I’m home on that day it’s no problem as I can take her as it’s only a 10 minute trip up the motorway. However, bit of a problem - I’m not home based most days. This therefore gives her a dilemma of how can she get to work. Coming home is no problem as Hubby or I are usually available most evenings.

I suggested she offers to pay someone £5 to take her to work, as and when required. She moaned at this. Yes, of course silly me, she’s never had to pay parents to shuttle her round in her hectic social, college, social or working life style. I suggested I gave up work so that I’m at her beck and call! She liked that idea, and then I said, ‘oh, if I’m not working, I don’t need a car’ – bit of a catch 22 situation.

Daughter has therefore done a deal with someone in the village to take her to work on an ad hoc basis.

She has a 3 hour shift one day next week and I’m not here to drop her off at work. She’s therefore got to pay someone virtually a third of the wages she’s going to earn that day. She’s gutted!

Welcome to our world!

Wall Eating Wasps

Daisy Turnip writes.....

We’ve had a wasps nest in the eaves of our house for quite a while now. They haven’t bothered us so we were quite happy to leave it there.

At the weekend I walked into the bedroom and could hear this strange noise – a little bit like rain drops gently falling on the window ledge. Strangely, for the middle of this English summer time, the weather was glorious outside and not a drop of rain could be either seen or felt. To my horror I realised it was the wasps nest behind the wall!

Monday morning I rang the pest control team at our local council who informed me they’d love to come and get rid of it for us and would equally love to charge us £50 for the pleasure of doing so. I begrudgingly agreed and was then informed, “Someone will call you in 24 hours to arrange a visit”

No one called.

This morning I went into the spare room and could seriously hear the wasps behind the wall. I walked right up to the wall and then spotted that part of the wall – about the size of a 10 pence piece was coming away from the rest of the wall. Adrenalin rush extraordinaire! Oh my God, the wasps are coming through the wall I thought. Then I calmed down and thought this couldn’t be so.

I rang the pest control team and asked why no one had called and what had happened to the visit. I then, slightly embarrassed by asking the question, asked if they could eat their way through a wall, “oh yes, came the reply” aaarrrrrggggghhh, “Would you make that call out an urgent one then please?” I screeched as I quickly ran upstairs and pushed back the plaster into the wall and carefully ripped off a whole tape of sellotape, trying to seal the broken plaster back into the wall.

Luckily, the lovely Neil turned up an hour or so later and gave me all the gory stories behind the life and times of being a ‘wasp man’ – twice this week he’s been on call outs where the wasps have eaten their way through the plaster board of both a wall and a ceiling. Talking and writing about it is seriously giving me the heebygeebies!

Anyway, Neil sprayed his potion into the eaves and then snatched a cheque from me and said, “All should be fine within the next few hours, you might see minor activity for the next couple of weeks, but if there’s anything more after 14 days, give me a call and I’ll be back” – thanks Arnie of the wasp world!

I’ll do nothing about the wall and the sellotape until a fortnight then? Any visitors can just assume we’re holding up the wall with sellotape. I’m not going to mention the wasps!

I later rang a colleague, who had slept in the room only just over a week ago. She’s now receiving counselling for mental trauma. She too thought she was going mad as she thought she could hear rain but when she looked out of the window could only see sunshine. In her head, she can now permanently hear the sound of wasps buzzing behind the wall at the side of the bed!!

Biodiversity in my eaves – you can stick it thanks!!

Thursday 5 July 2007

Men eh – Just Typical!

Daisy Turnip writes.....

A friend rang me the other night to tell me she had driven her car through the front door of her house, straight into her hall!

Apparently, it was the fault of her husband who just happened to be 20 miles away at work at the time!! He had left the car parked ‘in gear’ the previous evening – tut tut, shame on him!!

At the time, her youngest child was already in the car, the middle child was putting his shoes on in the kitchen – luckily he wasn’t in the hall and her eldest child was upstairs getting ready for school.

Since the accident, the first thing she now hears the kids do as soon as they get into the car is a hurried ‘clunk clink’ of the seat belt. And the eldest child – he’s now offered to walk to school. Something she’s been trying to get him to do for several months now! : )

See, every cloud has a silver lining.

Tuesday 3 July 2007

Fairy Good

Daisy Turnip writes.....

Remember my colleague who has problems with all the trains across the UK? He sent me the following text whilst sitting on a train

‘I accidentally put my iPod in the washing machine yesterday and when I fished it out I thought I would have to send it to that great Mac shop (he’s a Mac freak, btw) in the sky. Not so. Currently listening to Mozart.


He makes my day: )

To the dedicated Traffic Wardens of Tameside

Daisy Turnip writes.....

To the dedicated Traffic Wardens of Tameside

Yesterday I had to go to Manchester for a meeting. I set off in plenty of time and tootled up the M40, M42 and M6. At the end of the M6 part of the journey I hit traffic. Very heavy traffic. I sat and watched as my satnav system kept updating me on the fact that I was going to be late for my meeting. And then the heavens opened and it didn’t stop.

By the time I got to my meeting destination it was torrential rain fall. I pulled onto the car park and drove to the pay and display machine to get my ticket. In the minute it took me to put my money into the machine I was drenched – seriously, my hair that was perfectly washed and groomed that morning, now looked as if I’d just got out of the shower! And then all the money came out the bottom of the machine and therefore wouldn’t let me purchase a ticket.

As the rain was still hammering down, I jumped into the car and drove to the other end of the car park and tried the other pay and display machine – the same thing happened.

A huge clap of thunder burst above my head. It made myself and another woman who was waiting at the machine jump so much. It was really very scary. She then informed me the other machine wasn’t working too.

I therefore gave up, scribbled a note and left it on my windscreen telling the lovely traffic wardens of Tameside that the machines weren’t working and I couldn’t purchase a ticket. As I scribbled the note I thought to myself that no one in this weather would be mad enough to be looking to issue tickets to poor, unsuspecting car drivers.

I had my meeting and walked back to the car. And there, right above my note to the traffic warden, was a ticket stuck to my windscreen!

Are you immune to torrential rain ‘upt north?!


Happy Monday!