It's Tough Being on a Three Month Holiday!

Daisy Turnip writes.....

As you know my parents are still in sunny Spain, enjoying their 3 month break and increasing their love affair with the beloved balcony, ‘oh, it’s so hot here now, it’s so hot, we can’t even sit out on the balcony’ my mom informed me over the phone on Saturday afternoon. My heart bleeds!

Mom was taken ill on Friday and had to go to the doctors on Saturday. She’s now got to go for a scan on Wednesday. I’m sure Dad will now panicking about this, because a) Mom might not be very well and b) him being forever the pessimist, he will have in his head (although he won’t dare admit it or talk to mom about it) that the insurance might not cover the medical costs!

I’m worried that the medical staff might think Mom is weird! How to make friends and influence people eh!! Whilst waiting to see the doctor, my mom went to the English receptionist and asked, ‘He is a proper doctor isn’t he? He is like an English GP isn’t he?’ The receptionist informed my mom that he was indeed a ‘proper doctor’, she had nothing to worry about and all his certificates and qualifications were on the wall in his room. My Mom’s retort was, ‘Well you can buy all those qualification things off the internet now can’t you!’ Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!!

Mom informed me that Dad said he no longer wants to go to Spain on their annual 3 month holiday because ‘we are always ill, and it’s also like being in God’s waiting room – everyone is old!’ My interpretation of this is as follows:-

We’re always ill: -
a) Dad has had a bad back – he would have had this in the UK and it would probably have been worse with the cold in the UK

b) They’ve both had a cold – again, they would have had these in the UK and they would have been more miserable with them because they wouldn’t have been able to sit on the balcony with a box of tissues and Dad would have had to turn up the heating in the UK!!

c) They both caught a 24 hour bug – do we not have bugs in the UK anymore?

d) Dad had a hangover last week! OK, he wins this argument, the beer’s cheaper and Mom allows him to drink when they are on holiday

It’s like being in God’s waiting room: –

a) Yes Dad, that’s right – it’s because only the bloody retired can afford to go off on 3 months holiday in the sunshine during the coldest spell in the UK

b) Retired means you’re getting older, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are old!