Daisy Turnip writes.....
A new smart phone arrived at work yesterday. On the back of the phone there was a label which read,
Important
To prevent damage, do not apply excessive pressure to the screen or device case. Please remove the device from your pants before sitting down. For more details, see the Quick Start Guide.
Hmmm, strange, why would you want to put your phone in your pants?
Friday, 6 March 2009
Wednesday, 4 March 2009
Worse Than Child Birth!
Daisy Turnip writes.....
Today daughter’s car went for its first MOT! Daughter had never previously experienced:-
1. The process of sending a car in for an MOT
2. Waiting to get the car back whilst it is in for and MOT and
3. The tiniest fear / thought that it might fail the MOT and that she might be using public transport on a regular basis!
She also needed / wanted to get the car back this afternoon in order to get back to uni tonight, because she has an exam tomorrow morning.
I had meetings both this morning and this afternoon.
I came out of this morning’s meeting to find 5 missed calls, 1 voice mail message and 2 text messages – all from daughter!
OMG I thought, the car has failed the MOT with catastrophic proportions! I rang daughter and she told me, it had failed on the emissions test and needed a new exhaust. I told her to ring the garage and approve the work and I’d leave work early, pick her up and drive to the garage to collect the car and do the dutiful bank of mom and dad duties ie pay the chuffing bill!
At 2pm I went into another meeting. I came out at 3.30 to find 3 missed calls, 1 voice mail message and 2 more text messages – again, all from daughter!
I rang daughter to see what the problem was. She informed me, she’d rang the garage every half an hour to see if the car was ready. It wasn’t! They had been waiting for delivery of the exhaust and therefore still needed to complete the exhaust fit and then take it for a drive to check on a problem she’d asked them to check re the tyre tracking!
The poor garage – daughter on the phone every half hour! I really did want to give them a call myself, just to sympathise with them and also say, ‘welcome to my world’ – see how they like it! But I didn’t! Because I'm not smug! : )
I fled from work at 4.15pm (this in itself is a bit of a miracle) and did my usual 1 ½ half journey in 45 minutes! Picked up daughter, who then began to interrogate me about: how good is an MOT; is it really safe the drive the car all the way back to uni; do they really know what they are doing; why don’t they think there is a problem with the tracking; is an exhaust system really that expensive; why would an exhaust system break; is it normal for an exhaust to ‘die’; are they ‘ripping’ us off; am I worried about the cost; do you think it will fail next year’s MOT; will it impact on the insurance cost....... blah de blah de blah................... I really should have put my iPod on, it would have been so much more less painful.
We collected the car, I paid the bill, daughter put her bag in the boot (correction, I put her bag in the boot) and she went off to uni. I jumped back in the car and slammed my foot on the accelerator and got the hell out of there ASAP. Questions, questions, questions, it’s just all too much!
Next year I’m going to tell her to just sort it herself and send me the bill!
Today daughter’s car went for its first MOT! Daughter had never previously experienced:-
1. The process of sending a car in for an MOT
2. Waiting to get the car back whilst it is in for and MOT and
3. The tiniest fear / thought that it might fail the MOT and that she might be using public transport on a regular basis!
She also needed / wanted to get the car back this afternoon in order to get back to uni tonight, because she has an exam tomorrow morning.
I had meetings both this morning and this afternoon.
I came out of this morning’s meeting to find 5 missed calls, 1 voice mail message and 2 text messages – all from daughter!
OMG I thought, the car has failed the MOT with catastrophic proportions! I rang daughter and she told me, it had failed on the emissions test and needed a new exhaust. I told her to ring the garage and approve the work and I’d leave work early, pick her up and drive to the garage to collect the car and do the dutiful bank of mom and dad duties ie pay the chuffing bill!
At 2pm I went into another meeting. I came out at 3.30 to find 3 missed calls, 1 voice mail message and 2 more text messages – again, all from daughter!
I rang daughter to see what the problem was. She informed me, she’d rang the garage every half an hour to see if the car was ready. It wasn’t! They had been waiting for delivery of the exhaust and therefore still needed to complete the exhaust fit and then take it for a drive to check on a problem she’d asked them to check re the tyre tracking!
The poor garage – daughter on the phone every half hour! I really did want to give them a call myself, just to sympathise with them and also say, ‘welcome to my world’ – see how they like it! But I didn’t! Because I'm not smug! : )
I fled from work at 4.15pm (this in itself is a bit of a miracle) and did my usual 1 ½ half journey in 45 minutes! Picked up daughter, who then began to interrogate me about: how good is an MOT; is it really safe the drive the car all the way back to uni; do they really know what they are doing; why don’t they think there is a problem with the tracking; is an exhaust system really that expensive; why would an exhaust system break; is it normal for an exhaust to ‘die’; are they ‘ripping’ us off; am I worried about the cost; do you think it will fail next year’s MOT; will it impact on the insurance cost....... blah de blah de blah................... I really should have put my iPod on, it would have been so much more less painful.
We collected the car, I paid the bill, daughter put her bag in the boot (correction, I put her bag in the boot) and she went off to uni. I jumped back in the car and slammed my foot on the accelerator and got the hell out of there ASAP. Questions, questions, questions, it’s just all too much!
Next year I’m going to tell her to just sort it herself and send me the bill!
Friday, 13 February 2009
Carly - Just read your emails!
Daisy Turnip writes.....
You never know - sometimes, they ARE worth a read! : ) x
You never know - sometimes, they ARE worth a read! : ) x
I Can't Speak
Daisy Turnip writes.....
Today, something happened that frequently happens, and I just can’t understand why.
I got to my desk and there was a missed call on my mobile. It was from big sis. I rang her back and she eventually answered and said, ‘I’m in the car, I can’t speak.’
Why do people do this??? Just don’t take the call!!!
Today, something happened that frequently happens, and I just can’t understand why.
I got to my desk and there was a missed call on my mobile. It was from big sis. I rang her back and she eventually answered and said, ‘I’m in the car, I can’t speak.’
Why do people do this??? Just don’t take the call!!!
Saturday, 7 February 2009
The Joy of Cooking – Student Style!
Daisy Turnip writes.....
Daughter went off to uni in September and is now living in halls of residence. Before she left I typed up a whole load of recipes for cheap and easy meals to cook. She’s not used it once! It took me ages to do!!
However, she seems to be managing very well on the cooking front. She can now make a cup of tea and coffee oh, and microwave frozen corn on the cob – it’s all she seems to eat!
She did try her hand at making pasta in a white sauce. The sauce was one of those ready made things in a sachet (shame on her). She poured the pasta into the saucepan – dry and uncooked – and then added the pasta sauce. She couldn’t understand why it wasn’t cooked properly and had to go in the bin!
Gordon, be afraid, be very afraid!
Daughter went off to uni in September and is now living in halls of residence. Before she left I typed up a whole load of recipes for cheap and easy meals to cook. She’s not used it once! It took me ages to do!!
However, she seems to be managing very well on the cooking front. She can now make a cup of tea and coffee oh, and microwave frozen corn on the cob – it’s all she seems to eat!
She did try her hand at making pasta in a white sauce. The sauce was one of those ready made things in a sachet (shame on her). She poured the pasta into the saucepan – dry and uncooked – and then added the pasta sauce. She couldn’t understand why it wasn’t cooked properly and had to go in the bin!
Gordon, be afraid, be very afraid!
Wednesday, 4 February 2009
Burkha, Parker – Health and Safety Guru Required?
Daisy Turnip writes.....
This morning, whilst joyously sitting stationary in the early morning Birmingham commuter traffic, 3 cars drove past me which were all being driven by women wearing burkhas. It’s a pretty weird sight to be honest – you’re sitting there, half asleep behind the wheel of the car, praying that something exciting would happen, just to ease the monotonous boredom of the horrendous 2 hour traffic jam, only to see a car coming at you, with what looks like, which can only be described, as a big black cloud in the driver’s seat. All that can be seen, when the car gets closer, is a gap for the eyes. Is this really a safe way to drive? What happens when said female arrives at a T-Junction?
It automatically transported me back to being a young teenager. Dad would never allow me to ride my push bike, whilst having the hood up on my beloved parker coat! Remember? You’d turn your head round and the parker hood would stay in place, and all you could see was the liner of your hood! To be fair, parkers were pretty dangerous don’t you think! : )
My Dad was the über health and safety officer of our village. Dad saw EVERY single health and safety design fault of living the life of a child / teenager – I had to then obey his rules, which thankfully allowed me to see my way into my adult life! Many thanks Dad – you know I would never have made it without your H&S rules! : )
As we say in sunny Wolverhampton, 'Oi luvs ya' x
This morning, whilst joyously sitting stationary in the early morning Birmingham commuter traffic, 3 cars drove past me which were all being driven by women wearing burkhas. It’s a pretty weird sight to be honest – you’re sitting there, half asleep behind the wheel of the car, praying that something exciting would happen, just to ease the monotonous boredom of the horrendous 2 hour traffic jam, only to see a car coming at you, with what looks like, which can only be described, as a big black cloud in the driver’s seat. All that can be seen, when the car gets closer, is a gap for the eyes. Is this really a safe way to drive? What happens when said female arrives at a T-Junction?
It automatically transported me back to being a young teenager. Dad would never allow me to ride my push bike, whilst having the hood up on my beloved parker coat! Remember? You’d turn your head round and the parker hood would stay in place, and all you could see was the liner of your hood! To be fair, parkers were pretty dangerous don’t you think! : )
My Dad was the über health and safety officer of our village. Dad saw EVERY single health and safety design fault of living the life of a child / teenager – I had to then obey his rules, which thankfully allowed me to see my way into my adult life! Many thanks Dad – you know I would never have made it without your H&S rules! : )
As we say in sunny Wolverhampton, 'Oi luvs ya' x
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
Snowed in at the Lakes
Daisy Turnip writes.....
Every now and again we hire holiday cottages in the Lake District – just not as often as we’d like to. Such cottages usually have a log fire, are located in remote areas and, without exception, I always say, ‘ooooh, I’d love to be snowed in here’
It was my birthday this weekend and hubby treated me to a long weekend in the Lakes, staying in the fantastic Rose Cottage in the most beautiful Duddon Valley.
Sunday we were out on the mountains, it was a glorious day, beautiful clear skies and it was absolutely freezing. But as hubby frequently tells me, ‘there’s no such thing as bad weather, it’s just down to bad clothing!’ Being married to hubby, I’m never wearing bad clothing whilst out walking! He inspects me and my rucksack before we leave for a day out on the mountains! He’s not anal – well, maybe not, or is it because I’m now reaching his level of weather paranoia!
Late in the afternoon, we got back to the cottage, feeling cheerfully tired and fulfilled from a good old hike around the Duddon Valley. I rang Daughter from the pay phone, only to find her most anxious about the snow that was forecast, asking whether or not we were planning to walk the following day and what we would do about travelling back home.
Great, we’re going to get snowed in – my long term dream was about to be fulfilled! I was soooo chuffed.
And then, common sense head kicked in. We only had a little food and worse than that, even less wine!
We turned on the TV to catch the weather report. Loads of snow was predicted!
Half an hour we were leaving a snowy Duddon Valley – long weekend not quite complete – heading towards to M6, on our way home. I am such a chicken!
Every now and again we hire holiday cottages in the Lake District – just not as often as we’d like to. Such cottages usually have a log fire, are located in remote areas and, without exception, I always say, ‘ooooh, I’d love to be snowed in here’
It was my birthday this weekend and hubby treated me to a long weekend in the Lakes, staying in the fantastic Rose Cottage in the most beautiful Duddon Valley.
Sunday we were out on the mountains, it was a glorious day, beautiful clear skies and it was absolutely freezing. But as hubby frequently tells me, ‘there’s no such thing as bad weather, it’s just down to bad clothing!’ Being married to hubby, I’m never wearing bad clothing whilst out walking! He inspects me and my rucksack before we leave for a day out on the mountains! He’s not anal – well, maybe not, or is it because I’m now reaching his level of weather paranoia!
Late in the afternoon, we got back to the cottage, feeling cheerfully tired and fulfilled from a good old hike around the Duddon Valley. I rang Daughter from the pay phone, only to find her most anxious about the snow that was forecast, asking whether or not we were planning to walk the following day and what we would do about travelling back home.
Great, we’re going to get snowed in – my long term dream was about to be fulfilled! I was soooo chuffed.
And then, common sense head kicked in. We only had a little food and worse than that, even less wine!
We turned on the TV to catch the weather report. Loads of snow was predicted!
Half an hour we were leaving a snowy Duddon Valley – long weekend not quite complete – heading towards to M6, on our way home. I am such a chicken!
Santa Only Brings Presents to the Good Children
Daisy Turnip writes.....
Bunny informed me that Father Christmas has brought her presents every year – never missed one. She told me that’s because she is always good and for those children who are naughty, they don’t get presents from Santa.
She looked suspiciously at hubby (you could just see the cogs going round in her mind) and then asked, ‘When Dave was little, did Santa ALWAYS bring presents to him?’
Ohh, little people have such a well honed sixth sense! : )
Bunny informed me that Father Christmas has brought her presents every year – never missed one. She told me that’s because she is always good and for those children who are naughty, they don’t get presents from Santa.
She looked suspiciously at hubby (you could just see the cogs going round in her mind) and then asked, ‘When Dave was little, did Santa ALWAYS bring presents to him?’
Ohh, little people have such a well honed sixth sense! : )
The Filthy Devils
Daisy Turnip writes.....
A very close friend of mine is, shall we say, incredibly house proud.
Her dog stops at the back door and automatically lifts up each paw, ready to have them wiped before he’s allowed to proceed into the kitchen! It’s really quite impressive to watch!
Last summer her son went on a sleep over, staying with a family my friend didn’t know too well. They dropped off said son and then went out for dinner. Not long after they’d arrived at the restaurant, said son sent a text, asking for his Mom to give him a call. She did so, and he wouldn’t say much, just monosyllabic responses to Mom’s questions, but confirming he was fine. She finally asked if he wanted to come home, which he promptly replied with a firm ‘Yes’. They had already ordered their meal so he was informed they would be there, to pick him up ASAP.
Every 10 minutes or so, Mom kept receiving a text, asking how much longer they were going to be. In the end Mom became very worried re her Son’s most unusual behaviour and they left the restaurant, meal half eaten.
They arrived at the house of the sleep over and a panic stricken lad came rushing out and jumped into the car. By this point friend / Mom was very worried and beginning to panic, ‘What’s gone on, what’s the matter, are you ok?’ she asked in desperation and fear.
He was silent for a while. Dad asked the same question.
Son took a deep breath and said, ‘I just couldn’t stay there Mom, there was dust on the skirting board in the bathroom’.
I’m just amazed that they all come and stay at my house! : )
A very close friend of mine is, shall we say, incredibly house proud.
Her dog stops at the back door and automatically lifts up each paw, ready to have them wiped before he’s allowed to proceed into the kitchen! It’s really quite impressive to watch!
Last summer her son went on a sleep over, staying with a family my friend didn’t know too well. They dropped off said son and then went out for dinner. Not long after they’d arrived at the restaurant, said son sent a text, asking for his Mom to give him a call. She did so, and he wouldn’t say much, just monosyllabic responses to Mom’s questions, but confirming he was fine. She finally asked if he wanted to come home, which he promptly replied with a firm ‘Yes’. They had already ordered their meal so he was informed they would be there, to pick him up ASAP.
Every 10 minutes or so, Mom kept receiving a text, asking how much longer they were going to be. In the end Mom became very worried re her Son’s most unusual behaviour and they left the restaurant, meal half eaten.
They arrived at the house of the sleep over and a panic stricken lad came rushing out and jumped into the car. By this point friend / Mom was very worried and beginning to panic, ‘What’s gone on, what’s the matter, are you ok?’ she asked in desperation and fear.
He was silent for a while. Dad asked the same question.
Son took a deep breath and said, ‘I just couldn’t stay there Mom, there was dust on the skirting board in the bathroom’.
I’m just amazed that they all come and stay at my house! : )
A Yellow Card for Throwing Snowballs!
Daisy Turnip writes.................
We were cooking dinner last night when there was a knock at the door. Due to a minor car accident with the snow and ice, we ended up looking after our ex neighbour’s child for about 20 minutes last night.
She’s about 5 years old (sorry Ian and Helen, we know we’re useless and can’t remember how old she is) – talking to kids that age, especially Bunny (ex neighbour’s pet name for his daughter), is just brilliant. Everything is so black and white.
Bunny’s dad left, to sort out the car insurance details, and we asked her what she wanted to drink. Sugar free orange, sugar free apple and blackcurrant, or, are you allowed Coca Cola? A big grin appeared on her face as she said she’d like Coke. I so knew what that grin meant. I asked her if she was allowed to have Coke, and if she did have some, when Daddy came to collect her, would he be happy that she’d drank Coke? She thought for a moment and then said, ‘I don’t know.’ ‘OK, pop it is then, what would you like, orange or apple and blackcurrant?’ ‘Mixed’ came her reply. A mixed glass of orange, apple and blackcurrant was placed in front of her – yeuk, but Bunny liked it, along with a packet of Walkers cheese and onion crisps – I never asked whether or not Dad would be happy with that – she kept saying she was hungry, we’d been away for the weekend and to state that the cupboards were bare was a major understatement!
Bunny then kept telling us how she’d never received a ‘yellow card’ at school. What on earth is a yellow card? She proceeded to tell us that a yellow card is when you’ve not been very good at school – but not too bad either. If you receive 2 yellow cards, you get a red one.
Apparently a girl at school today had received a yellow card for throwing a snowball on the playground!
Unbelievable – I was so shocked I opened a bottle of wine! The world has gone mad.
I never found out what happens if you receive both a yellow and a red card! Even if you’re not into footie, it obviously works because it’s Bunny’s major achievement not to have received a single yellow card since she’s been a school.
We were cooking dinner last night when there was a knock at the door. Due to a minor car accident with the snow and ice, we ended up looking after our ex neighbour’s child for about 20 minutes last night.
She’s about 5 years old (sorry Ian and Helen, we know we’re useless and can’t remember how old she is) – talking to kids that age, especially Bunny (ex neighbour’s pet name for his daughter), is just brilliant. Everything is so black and white.
Bunny’s dad left, to sort out the car insurance details, and we asked her what she wanted to drink. Sugar free orange, sugar free apple and blackcurrant, or, are you allowed Coca Cola? A big grin appeared on her face as she said she’d like Coke. I so knew what that grin meant. I asked her if she was allowed to have Coke, and if she did have some, when Daddy came to collect her, would he be happy that she’d drank Coke? She thought for a moment and then said, ‘I don’t know.’ ‘OK, pop it is then, what would you like, orange or apple and blackcurrant?’ ‘Mixed’ came her reply. A mixed glass of orange, apple and blackcurrant was placed in front of her – yeuk, but Bunny liked it, along with a packet of Walkers cheese and onion crisps – I never asked whether or not Dad would be happy with that – she kept saying she was hungry, we’d been away for the weekend and to state that the cupboards were bare was a major understatement!
Bunny then kept telling us how she’d never received a ‘yellow card’ at school. What on earth is a yellow card? She proceeded to tell us that a yellow card is when you’ve not been very good at school – but not too bad either. If you receive 2 yellow cards, you get a red one.
Apparently a girl at school today had received a yellow card for throwing a snowball on the playground!
Unbelievable – I was so shocked I opened a bottle of wine! The world has gone mad.
I never found out what happens if you receive both a yellow and a red card! Even if you’re not into footie, it obviously works because it’s Bunny’s major achievement not to have received a single yellow card since she’s been a school.
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